Tomorrow

"So don't worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will bring it's own worries. Today's trouble is enough for today"

- Jesus

Just listening to a co-worker talk about how she is so close to retirement but how much she hates her job breaks my heart. But she can't quit yet because she'd lose out on a pension and be short on collecting Social Security. This, to me, highlights how America's system can potentially lead us to disregard the advice/commands of our creator. Not that planning is bad. I am not trying to suggest that. I am saying that we put ourselves through undue hardship worrying about tomorrow. Perhaps less focus on retirement and more on today's impact is the focus we must have. For me, this means realizing I am at Ameren today and this is the work the Lord has put before me today.

Note: I just got the BlogPress app for my iPhone so I can blog a bit more off the cuff because I just have not been writing since I started work. So my posts will be more often, but also more 'thought' than 'statement.' I still hope to put out logical ideas and truths that are challenging to me and others. Good Tuesday to you all!

Feeling Catholic

This past weekend, I went on a retreat with Newman Hall here on campus at the U of I. I really haven't done much with Newman in the last couple years, as after I moved out, I would go to Mass and that is about it. My involvement with Illini Life has really been my spiritual community. Throughout my spiritual walk I have felt more Roman Catholic or Non-Denominational. This week, after the retreat, I feel quite Catholic. It is a neat place to be. In all honesty, this retreat was the first time I felt like I'd seen a devotion to Christ and a devotion to Community in the same place in the Catholic church and I've felt part of it. There are times when I've seen one, the other, or both and not been a part of it, but this was a good experience for me.

The theme of the weekend was God's Divine Mercy. The painting above was inspired by Jesus in a vision to one Saint Faustina. It represents God's mercy. The red is the blood of Christ spilt out for our sins and the white is the water that washes us clean. I'm really glad that I went on this retreat. It was truly a blessing and God helped me work through a lot of things. Now, this isn't to say that I'm going to jump into anything specific, but it was a great way for me to balance my life.

OTHER THOUGHTS:

Alan got a job offer this week. He has to decide by Friday. Stressful much? This offer is with an engineering company. I'll let those that care know in a while when a decision is made. I did have this thought presented to me today though...

Our very word "decide" comes from the Latin decidere which means "to cut off."

Something must be cut off in my life this week. Some dream of a future, some possibility. It must be pruned away so other dreams can flourish more readily.

Much time has passed

Well, it is over halfway through July, and this is my first post of my summer. Some of the things you may have wondered:

"Maybe Alan died of a horrific crocodile bite."
"Maybe Alan got too cool for the internets."
"Maybe nothing has happened in Alan's life and he doesn't need to write about it."
"Maybe Alan is too busy reading LOLcats."


Well, you would be wrong. On most accounts. Work has me busy (and firewalled tightly), and I don't typically have internet around me when I'm not at work. So as a result, my blogging, facebooking, and flickring have taken hits across the board.

As a result, any meaningful update about my summer, disappointed rant about Brett Favre, excited praise for the Cubs, or semi-deep thought that I want to write has been either spoken, kept internal, written in a journal, or died without ever gracing this page. Perhaps that is a good thing.


I've taken photos. I've experienced activities. I've met people. I've worked with steel. I've traveled. I've seen the joy of weddings. I've learned southern slag. I've grown closer to God in unique ways.

I could write page after page about this summer, and to some of you I have. I could tell you about every little thing, but that would be boring. So, it'll be quick instead. A bullet list of some things I've done.

• interned at Nucor Steel Decatur, AL
• hung with 4 other interns and a couple young employees
• seafood festival
• seen 5-6 movies in theaters
• space and rocket center in huntsville
• in two friends' weddings
• read many books
• played rock band
• photographed things
• arena league 2 football game
• swam
• found some excellent new musicians
  
• visited a sweet grotto with miniature buildings
• random roadtrips
• AND MORE!!!

I've got a lot of thoughts and ideas too that have come from this summer. The biggest ones focus on my second trimester of the rest of my life. Where will I be in 6 months? I do not know, but I do know that I want it to be an adventure. I really do want to come alive.

Other important thoughts center around the idea of Love. Love for others through many things. Service, care, listening, assisting, being there, giving, engaging, reassuring, encouraging. These are all ways to love. That is my challenge that I think I've received. At all costs, love; be different; shock the world. And through this, not only will others come alive, but you too will be amazed.

OK, I've written far too much for one post. I leave you with a G.K. Chesterton quote I noticed on a friend's facebook wall and fell in love with.

"An inconvenience is only an adventure wrongly considered; an adventure is an inconvenience rightly considered." - G. K. Chesterton

Climate Change or Scare Mongering?

If you live in America, and you pay attention to the news, you've probably heard of a little thing called global warming. And if you're a decade or two older than me, you've probably heard about global cooling. Scientific speculation about the human influence on the world has been far spread. We've had plenty of incorrect guesswork about how things will turn out in the coming years, and yet we continue to be so sure of ourselves in how science will go. One of the biggest problems in my mind with the global warming scare is the assumed correlations between CO2 and temperature of the earth. In science, we're always making simplifying assumptions or bold predictions and hoping that they line up as correct. Then, when our theories don't pan out, we are all of a sudden dealing with ways to justify our original theory with newer ones.

This Bloomberg article speaks of a new theory that the oceans will cool us for a while until global warming strikes up again. And of course we KNOW global warming is occurring because we have the highest temperatures on record. I mean, let's not forget that we don't have temperature records for thousands of years back, and shoot, if you believe in the 5 billion year old earth, we're missing out on a LOT of history. Who are we to say that we know the cycles of our planet? What makes us and our short 120 year max time here able to know it all? I believe God made a far more complex and robust planet than we could totally screw up.

Now, is this to say I think we can do whatever and it will be fine? No. What I am saying is that I believe science makes a lot of bold predictions about things we shouldn't worry about. I mean, remember when Deep Impact and Armageddon (speaking of, the Christian Armageddon, rather than the movie, is referred to on wikipedia as "in Christian mythology" (my emphasis). Oh what perspective brings to the table) came out? I'm pretty sure everybody was sure we'd be hit by a meteor as a planet by now. And it hasn't happened yet. Sure it COULD, but we can't prevent it from possibly happening. Now Al Gore has used similar action movie footage to create a stir. I mean SURE, the planet could be getting warmer, but is it our doing? What if what we're doing actually will eventually lead to global cooling or suffocation or nuclear war?

I believe that we need not worry about global warming itself, but I do believe that we need to be good stewards of the world we have been given. This means that we should be watching how we pollute, and in a holistic way. I mean seriously, have you considered that electric cars are just taking electricity made by coal power plants (just as nasty pollution in the air)? The 'green' movement is a good thing, but the way we go about it is paramount. And let's not worry so much about the temperature, but instead about things like the amount of visibility in our cities and beyond, the quality of our drinking water, and the health of our planet as a whole.

Late Night of Study

This semester has been a pretty lonely school semester. My classes have been predominantly studied for by myself. Not that this is a big deal, but it makes me sad that I haven't made a huge effort to study with people or get to know my classmates too much. Now I know the semester isn't over, but that isn't I guess what I'm thinking about right now.

It is 1:30 in the morning on Monday and I'm studying my butt off. I've got a hw due tomorrow that I really don't even know how to approach. I guess I have ideas, but I don't know. But where is my mind? Talking to my sister on AIM about theology. What does that mean?

Does it mean that I am just finding that as a way to procrastinate or avoid my school work?
Does it mean that I just prefer to talk about God and how he has moved and is moving?
Does it mean that I should already commit to doing ministry?
Does it mean engineering is a hobby or that theological discussion is a hobby?


I guess these are big questions for me as they are going to help determine my direction in my life. These issues have come up a lot lately and I really would hope to have it settled tomorrow (read: hope = unrealistically hope). Instead, I have a lot of options before me in about 9 months. I will be graduating then, so I guess I'm pregnant with the rest of my life now. It's got a standard gestation period and now is the time that I really need to research what it'll be like to take care of it once it pops out.

Could I be doing some form of engineering discipline in a place where they don't have that but need it to establish infrastructure?
Could I be using my engineering knowledge to teach high schoolers in an inner city area because they need education in technical disciplines as much as rich suburbanites do?
Could I be learning how to council people through their struggles?
Could I be coaching sports and doing sports ministry?
Could I be doing support raising for campus missions work?
Could I be working in an engineering job in Colorado, Northwest, any other place and being involved in a church while ministering to my co-workers?
Could I be working in engineering in Champaign and doing campus missions on the side?

Yea, and that's only a list of options that come to me at this moment. I'm positive there must be others. So instead of dwell on this, I shall go to bed, and hit the grindstone early in the morning, while counting down the days to my second trimester.

And even thinking about that, I guess I kinda do have trimesters set up

End of Spring 08
Summer 08
Fall 08

Each will be different in nature, and each will help me to determine stuff about me and my future...I hope

Good night (or good morning I suppose)