An open letter to the Illini

Benn on the Return, originally uploaded by | Orthogonal Photography |.

Dear Illini,

I'll make this brief. You make me hurt with confusion. I'd prefer if you guys picked a style of program you'd like to be. Do you want to be bad or do you want to be good? You have the potential to be either, and I'd love to see you go the good way, but if you want to go the bad way, could you please let me know, so I don't have to think about plans for bowl games in December or January, watch you play and embarrass me, or brag about how good you'll be to my friends. I don't care how many records you set as a team, I'd just like to see a lot of wins or losses. Congrats Juice on throwing for a bajillion yards the last two weeks, but you only won one game. I know how hard it is to win, trust me, I come from Clinton High School, but please play up to your potential. And coaches, don't call stupid plays on the goal line. Finish what you started as a team.

Anyway, I love you guys, but it is a tough love today. Please make up your mind. I'd love to continue to support you into the Bowl Season, but you have to uphold your end of the agreement. That means don't win big at a tough place to play and then lose to conference doormats at home. Please win both of these games. You have a chance to stay in this thing. Just beat those dang Hoosiers.

OK, are we good now? I look forward to your response on Saturday night.

-Alan